It Runs In The Family

I talked to my mom about theology and God last night. We talk about that stuff sometimes. It's normally her just asking me lots and lots of questions. It's always tough. All she wants is to understand and hear God so she can follow Him well. It's kinda like, "who doesn't, right?!" But it's not that simple.

Because I don't a lot of the time.

I mean, I do, but I'm really afraid because I feel like it's going to be hard or scary or not what I want.

I think a lot of the time I still do what I know/think is right more than what I want, but not always. Definitely not always.

I'm real real selfish.
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I admire my mom's childlike faith, and I feel bad she doesn't understand that she knows God enough to follow Him. She always thinks He's judging her, but in an irritated parental fashion. Very ungraceful. It's tough to get her to think otherwise. She isn't very comfortable with the idea of unconditional love, but who is?

I think she knows God enough to follow Him well. I know she does. Maybe she just lacks a confidence in her own spiritual maturity and understanding. Maybe I just have way too much in mine.
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I want to always have a deep conviction and passion to follow Him in everything I do, even the small things, like she does. To follow because He loves me and died for me.

A lot of the time I do, but definitely not always.
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Peace.