So here I am, a week and a half into Christmas break, and I'm just now writing a blog. My intellectual production is apparently less than stellar.
Maybe that isn't the case. Maybe the things that are on my mind are just things that aren't blog material (for a number of reasons). Actually, I'm completely positive that is the case.
I'll try to start thinking thoughts that are fitting to be disclosed in blog format.
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Regardless, I might as well talk about what I have been up to.
-sleep
-additional sleep
-working out (I joined a gym)
-reading (not as much as I hoped)
-writing (nowhere near as much as I hoped)
-thinking (a whole lot about things that don't deserve the attention I give them)
I've decided that since this is a break, that is exactly what I'm going to make it. This month off will be a break that allows me to recover from the strain of my 5th semester at Malone.
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This past semester sucked. Well, I shouldn't be so fast to say that. My schedule sucked. I felt very stretched when it came to time. Far too many days I thought I needed there to be more than 24 hours in that day so I could take some time and slow down. That is a ridiculous feeling to have when you are 20 years old, at least I think it is.
I literally remember thinking that and then saying to myself, "Whatever is wrong here is in the way I'm doing things. There is no way in hell I can actually be feeling like this."
My classes weren't bad, but they weren't amazing. There is a good chance that the schedule I was working with made it harder for me to enjoy my classes. That is a very strong possibility, so I won't put any blame on them.
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There were things about this semester that were awesome.
Move groups were awesome. Hearing the positive feedback and the passion of some students involved. The impact we made through the days with Multi-Development Services and everything else... that was amazing. It was all God, and it was awesome to watch it happen.
Being a CA was awesome. To invest in people, to try and be a resource to people however you can, that was cool. I don't think I was a very good CA, if I'm honest. There is a right way and a wrong way to go about being a CA and I feel like I learned so much about how to do things well by not doing them so well right off the bat. I loved my class, I loved my students, and I loved my professor. There is no way if I do it again that I could have as positive of an experience as I did this time. Maybe I'm wrong... but I really don't know.
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Well, it is what it is. Break is break and God is God. Sometimes when I say things like that people give me a weird look. I think I just mean that God is still God and He is still in control just like always, and break is here and it is a break from all the things I knew it would be a break from. It's predictable.
Maybe it also carries the tone that break isn't as fulfilling as I hoped or thought it could be, so I remember that God is God and that means He is fulfilling. Even though that is a good way to think, I always say is as if I'm dissappointed. I probably am. I probably should get over it. My bad.
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This blog isn't riveting. I'm aware. I have other thoughts. But they aren't refined enough or appropriate topics to be processed in this place. I'm sorry. I feel guilty for that. I probably shouldn't. I probably should get over it.
My bad.
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Peace
