Sacrifice is such an ambiguous word.
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In one sense, it is so obvious. It can be very plain to see a person painfully sacrifice something they love for something that is better but less selfgratifying.
On the other hand, sacrifice can be quiet and faceless. It can be subtle and unnoticed. It can focus around personal discipline and self control that everyone is completely oblivious to, except you. And it is because of that, that sacrifice can be faked.
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I've notice that some points in my life were riddled with the lack of sacrifice. I did what I wanted, when I wanted, how I wanted. It didn't matter if it wasn't wise or if it was even detrimental because they weren't the kinds of decisions that people were aware of. They didn't come up in casual conversation and they weren't noticeable. But they were essential to the health of my spiritual life.
They had the ability to stabilize or warp my understanding of God and His desires. They contained the power to reinforce or discourage selfishness. And they had a firm grasp on my emotional state and personal attitudes towards everything.
And when I made poor decisions, it showed. It put me in bad places and perpetuated my location there. It made me stale and cynical and selfish. Faking sacrifice made me fake.
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But no one knew that. Sure people may have noticed some subtle differences in attitude and personality, but nothing that caused alarm. And the changes were certainly far to vague for anyone to discern what the cause was.
But I knew. Good Lord, did I know. And no matter how much I would lie to myself I would always know that these sacrifices or lack-thereof were what kept me in the stale and stagnant places.
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Think of a time where you had the chance to show someone kindness and you missed it. Maybe a homeless person approached you on the street or you had the chance to encourage someone you didn't like or you had the opportunity to anonymously provide someone with something they really needed.
A lot of times, sacrifices present themselves for only a moment, and then they are gone. They are always uncomfortable and they are
always characterized by 2 voices in your head: one encouraging you to take the high road and be kind and the other telling you to be selfish and look out for your own interests.
And if you are not in a good place spiritually, if you are not healthy and focused on a consistent basis, then you will rarely handle those situations well. You may justify your failure and claim that you actually did the correct thing, but most of your justifications won't bring peace more than they will guilt.
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No matter how bad at it we are, sacrifice is always a choice. It is a choice between what is selfless and what is selfish. And it is a choice that can only be made in that specific moment. Sacrifice can present itself in a circumstance where no one is watching, and those are probably the most important ones. The sacrifices that come at a time when no one is looking or no one will know whether you follow through or don't are the ones that speak the most about your character.
And the only one who will know what kind of character you truly have is you.
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In those moments there is something to be recognized. We are presented with two paths: one which looks at the big picture, and one with a narrow view that can only see from your own eyes no further than an arms length.
The narrow view wants you to take a path that is short and leads to immediate gratification and preservation of what you want. The big picture path recognizes that you aren't the only one involved in this situation and that the path that makes you happy right now is not the path that ultimately takes you where you want to go. Because joy and happiness are different; very different.
And deep down, what really matters, is getting to where you ultimately want to go. Because where you want to go is somewhere good. Where you want to go is full of joy.
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Take the high road and be aware that choosing where one voice tells you to go is going to take you further from where you want to go. The road to a character like Christ's is blanketed with sacrifice and selflessness more than we could ever imagine. It is going to be uncomfortable and sometimes unpleasant.
But it is more than worth it. Because it is good.
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"We endure anything rather than put an obstacle in the way of the gospel of Christ."
1 Corinthians 9:12
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Peace.
