It's been a month. I've been busy, and I'm sorry. Excuses are lame, I know; so I'll stop.
...
One of my friends told me I was reminiscent lately. I actually wish that were more true.
...
In my life, it is so easy to forget God when things are going well. I have a terrible memory. It is absolutely awful. I don't necessarily forget names or details or information; I forget things that are more important.
I forget God.
...
I always have. When things are going well in my life, I feel like I'm in control. I'll think that I'm the reason things are going well. I've started to make the right decisions and finally I have this little part of life figured out. Finally, I understand how to make this happen the right way.
The truth is quite different, however. In reality, the reason I forget God is because when things are bad I have to cry out for Him. When things are bad, I can't get through without God. So I cry out and beg for Him to walk with Him and put all my focus on Him.
I need Him because I am weak.
...
The change comes when I experience success. Success socially, or romantically, or academically, or emotionally. That success gives me this ridiculous feeling of self-sufficiency. It makes me think that I don't need Him anymore, because I can take it from here.
The sad part is that once I get to that point, I then have the greatest chance to completely mess up everything.
...
I need to stop forgetting God. I forget that God got me to where I am. I forget that God gave me these people in my life. I forget that God gave me the opportunity to be where I am.
I forget things that I absolutely KNOW.
...
It is frustrating to have this kind of a memory. I can only imagine how much it hurts to be where God is, on the other side. I'd hate to care about a person who constantly forgets or rejects my desire to love them and do life with them.
It's like I tell God that He can sit this one out; I got it.
When the truth is all I've got is the recipe to fail. All I have is the experience of screwing up great things. Unfortunately, I forget that I don't have any other experience.
...
I really don't want to forget God. I don't want to forget the things I know. I don't want to forget that my life runs through Him.
Those are terrible things to forget. Trust me.
...
Peace.
