I went and saw Quantum of Solace again last night. I love it far more than Casino Royale, and I am well aware that puts me in the minority of people. I LOVE Quantum of Solace. I love Daniel Craig in that movie. I love Bond in that movie. I love all the shots. I love everything Marc Forster did. I love the script. I love everything about it.
I want to be that Bond. I want to be that attractive, that confident, and that carefree. I want it.
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I'm incredibly jealous of James Bond in that movie because he loves no one. He loved someone, and they were taken from him. Sure he is hurting, and probably dying inside, but for some reason, in my current position in life, I see him as free. He is actually engulfed in anguish and revenge, but he truly has nothing to lose and nothing to maintain. I feel so jealous of that.
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I feel like I'm working to maintain so much love in my life. It's all conditional. I'm a slave to it. Bond isn't. He doesn't want it.
He is free from the need I am a slave to.
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I doubt he's permanently free. No one is. But even for a moment, I'd love to feel that freedom. He has so much confidence in who he is because he's free. He is just who he is; he isn't trying to impress anyone. He doesn't need anyone's love or affection. He doesn't long for it.
I do.
I want to be free from the debilitating, restricting desire and need to be accepted and feel loved. To feel free of the obligation of working for people's love.
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I want to be James Bond. He's free.
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Peace.
I haven't seen this movie (or any of the Bond movies...I know, shame on me!), but I think that this freedom is tainted.
ReplyDeleteI understand your desire for it. I think in a way, we all want to be free from the love we crave, the acceptance we strive for. Because, like you said, it does become an obligation. And it's tiring, always working for that love.
But I think True Freedom comes when we realize that striving for it cheats us. When we let God love us without working for it. When we accept the love of God manifest in people--though love from other humans is conditional because we are imperfect, I truly believe there are flashes of divine love in them, because we are His creation.
I'm trying very hard to be an optimist, believing that we can have love and freedom all at once.
i think youre right. the best thing i can do is accept gods love and realize its unconditional.
ReplyDeletefor some reason that just seems harder than being free is. even though its tainted and not what i really want.
im dumb, what can i say.