Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Let Go

A friend of mine wrote a facebook note that scares me to death.

The note reminds me that seasons change. Stages in life come and go. Things shift and move in ways that we have no control over.

The scariest thing to me is this: when things change we become okay with it in time.
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I care about a lot of things, and a lot of people. I have wonderful things in my life right now, and I see wonderful potential in other things that I am constantly pursuing. And just the thought that this is all simply a season of life that will change or fade away and I will be okay with not pursuing these things or not having them in my life anymore is paralyzing.

Literally paralyzing. It makes me want to cry.
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That is why it makes me sad. It makes me think that eventually I might not care about the things that I care about more than anything in the world right now. It makes me think that everything I've created or worked for will become meaningless.

It makes me think that there may come a day where these things don't have a hold on me anymore.
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I am afraid to allow life and God to take me wherever it is that I am going because I don't trust them to know what is best for me.

I fight a daily battle to cling to what matters to me instead of holding those things with an open hand. I am terrified the second I loosen my grip they will be taken from me.

And that absolutely breaks my heart. And it only tightens my grip.
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I talked to my friend about these fears, and she echoed the same thoughts. She is a wonderful thing in my life.

It's nice to know that I'm not alone.
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Peace.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for this, D-less.
    Thanks for your honesty.

    I love you.

    ReplyDelete