Drawing In Church

This last week I was in church and I drew a couple nice pictures during the service.
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These aren't the kind of drawings that people who are completely zoning out during the service draw to amuse themselves. I don't do drawings like that very often. Normally, during a sermon, or a chapel speech, or even classes sometimes, I like to take notes on good ideas I hear or quotes that really make me think; things I feel I can build off of. These were those kinds of pictures.
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I think this whole train of thought I had related back to how I felt like soon I need to sort of just go. Just go and serve somewhere. There was a segment of the service where a friend of mine, who is a big fan of mission trips and things of that nature, was talking about the recent trip him and some people from the church were able to make down to Haiti. It was really cool. But this is where it gets interesting.
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I found myself doing something that I have been doing a lot over the last few years and that I think a lot of people do. I started to think about all the things I could lose if I just followed my inclination to go and serve somewhere. I started to think how much that would ruin my plans and how uncomfortable that could be. The problem with these questions is that I, and maybe other people, blow them up to the extent that I fool myself into thinking they actually call into question how good of a decision it is to go serve. I'm not trying to say you can't have concerns or be nervous about taking risks to move towards God. But this is my point: we insist on having all our questions answered (and answered in the right way) before we are willing to take steps towards God and what He may want from us. This is what my first picture showed.

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The issue is that we think having all our questions answered is the only way we can take risks for God and go out on a limb. Well that just isn't true. In fact, we are never going to have all our questions answered but its crazy to see how much we can rationalize our reluctance to take risks.

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It's like we are going to cross the road. On one side is us and God is on the other side. He tells us to cross so we can be closer to Him. But we refusing to cross the road until we can't see a single car on the horizon. What I need to realize is that these things on the road aren’t even cars, they are only toys. If these toy cars crash into my feet while I’m walking then I’ll hardly feel it. We look at our situations and all the things we think we could lose and we turn hot wheels into semi trucks. I need to trust God and cross the road; I know he will protect me while I do it. Whatever crashes do occur because I chose to cross the road and get to God on the other side, they aren’t going to be these cataclysmic events that ruin everything my future holds. Instead, they are going to shake the things in my life and test them. Whatever falls apart wasn’t strong enough to last in the first place. As hard as that might be for me to accept and realize, that’s the reality of the situation.

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In the end, I feel like I need answers to questions before I just go and serve because I don't trust God enough. Fundamentally, the reason the questions are so influential in my thought process is because I'm afraid of what is to come; I'm afraid God isn't going to protect me.

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But I know that isn't true. I know God will always protect me. I need to learn to ask whatever questions I have as I walk towards God. Just because I have questions doesn't mean I can't move until I have all the answers. I'm never going to have all the answers. That's what my second picture was all about.