New Sel(ves)

Transitioning out of college has not been the smoothest thing for me. By no means has it been awful, but it has been a substantial adjustment. It has been a challenge to find the best ways to invest myself and find a healthy rythm that is feels more life-giving than life-restraining.

Part of this grew out of some serious faith questions I was trying to reconcile in my mind and my life after being more aware of the way scripture came to be the authority in a faith that existed 300 years without it. And now it has become such a trump card in some conversations that I just couldn't shake my discomfort with that kind of dynamic for a long time.

Combine that with being put into (in my opinion) a hyper-Christianese and Christian subculture environment where theological and moral conservatism was the well established norm for the first 2 months after graduation, and a jaded apathetic 22-year-old is what you are bound to get. And that is what I was and am slowly moving out of.
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I am now slowly trying to reinstitute habits and disciplines that I have been frustrated and antagonistic with for the past year or so. Principally, this includes reading sections of the bible and trying to let the teachings on morals and conducting life offer me advice that I will take seriously and not simply turn a cold shoulder too.

I'm trying to let the love that motivates me to live again in the place I first discovered it.

That can be a tall order when you have moved beyond that for a substantial period of time.
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I have been pleasantly surprised with how seamlessly I seem to have been able to step back into feeling motivated and convicted by scripture. I am in no way depressed about that or anything of the sort. Actually, I am just very glad that my response hasn’t been cynicism. I have been in times where I really enjoy and like being cynical because cynicism is deceptively satisfying but even more so it is secretly corrosive.

I started reading Colossians because it seemed like a small commitment incase my ability to ingest Scripture hadn’t returned yet and I wasn’t going to be running into any ridiculous culturally relative ideas that were going to tire me out and give me an excuse to side-step any kind of ideas of relevance in the text.

As I read, everything felt familiar just like the years old pen marks of underlining and bracketing certain sections and phrases that were once newly profound and freshly perspective-changing. It felt familiar but challenging because of how much I had forgotten.

I had forgotten the sterness and the urgency with which Paul (or a compadre) would write. I had forgotten about the earnestness and the sense I got that he wanted things to be better for me and anyone else who read his words. I had forgotten the ways his sentences would remind me of the unhealthy and deplorable ways I was thinking and acting throughout the days. I had forgotten what it was like to want to become the way those words described a person who loved God with their life.
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In Colossians 3, the terminology of new self and old self comes up. The idea is that we are new when we believe and have faith in Jesus and the old self is a process of removing. Piece by piece old attributes of our personalities and desires flake away as new values and actions are molded and welded to us like an armor that cannot be removed.

I thought about how I sometimes go through stages and seasons where I feel renewed and different and like there is a new motivation in life thrusting me forward. In some ways, that seems really flippant when I think about what Paul is talking about here.

Ultimately, I should be new in permanent ways since I was about 15 or 16-years-old (when I became a Christian) that are unlike my “old self.” And I think that has happened. I think there are a ton of worldviews, mindsets, practices, demeanors, and overall character items that have been stripped away from me and that I have little engagement with anymore.

At the same time, I recognize my ability to become overwhelmed in different periods of time with the situation at hand and really do become a different form of myself. I become altered in my behaviors and thoughts and priorities because I haven’t set up a foundation that doesn’t shift with the changing times. And that is my mistake.

I recognize that putting on the new self is a life-long process and I am beyond thankful for that. Still, I think there is something to be said for striving for a solid consistency in practice and personality that transcends who we are because of what we believe. And that bedrock is what I am looking to create and foster now. Better late than never.

We are part of a never-ending growth process while always being the same new self. What a challenge.
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Peace.

Faith By Faith

Sometimes I really struggle to define what it is within me that makes me a Christian; what it is inside of anyone that makes them a Christian.

I say "inside" or "within" because I certainly feel as though I have moved beyond the idea that anything can externally make someone a Christian.  You are not a Christian because you have a cross tattooed on your arm.  You are not a Christian because you sit in a pew on Sundays.  You are not a Christian because you buy organic foods, or because you vote Republican, or even because you listen to Christian music, read Christian books, or have Christian friends.

Being a Christian is an individual stamp that lies on the hearts of those who have it; it isn't something you get simply by being in the right places at the right times with the right peoples.  It is something that is specifically true or not true of YOU.

Now, I want to just be clear that people don't mistake what I'm saying here.  I do not want to suggest that community is unimportant to Christianity or Christians.  Actually, I passionately believe the exact opposite.  But my point is that although community and others can introduce you to the Church, its members, its practices, its beliefs, and even its savior, it is not up to them whether or not you become a Christian.

Others cannot do what it takes for you to become a person of faith; it is something you must choose, accept, take part in, enter into, etc.  You must be the one who owns the faith you claim, or who must be honest about faith being absent.

Already I am wary of some of my terminology that seems incredibly influenced by this culture and Western Christianity by saying things like "lies on the heart" and so on.  I think my dislike of that phrase and the fact that I still use it highlights something interesting:

Defining what is happening or has happened to make or maintain a person a Christian is difficult to articulate.  After all, it is a spiritual occurrence, so maybe sprawling out to define it is pointless.  But I always seem to come back to this idea of the amount of faith a person has.

There are a few things that complicate this to me.  First off, it certainly seems that some people have more faith than others, even when both are Christians and both know and have experienced similar things.  Secondly, I know many people in my life, including myself, struggle to feel as though our faith secures us or is something that often feels like a strong support we can lean on.  Perhaps the simple answer is that we are all skeptics, but the constant questions about how this can really be true and why do these things make sense seems to be an ever present reality for many people who are part of the Christian faith.  Thirdly, people do not seem to know how to increase their faith, or if that is even possible.  And there is the kicker.

If some people have more faith than others, but those who have less are incapable of getting themselves to have more faith, then some within the faith are stuck in places for a long time that are full of questions and doubts that range from interesting to debilitating.  And to me, this has been very confusing.

So we have faith and we believe, but that is something that we sort of just have and cannot seem to manifest on our own or increase.  Then there seems to be only one possible conclusion we can come to:

God is the one who supplies our faith.

Although in some ways that idea is really romantic and seems to reference back to the sovereignty of God, it doesn't come without raising more questions.

If God is the one who supplies our faith, then why isn't everyone a Christian?  If God supplies our faith, why has he given some of us more faith than others?  If God supplies our faith, why do some people seem to lose faith or why would God seem to take back faith He gave in the first place?

These questions don't have easy answers and I'm not sure the people who are asking these questions want answers as much as they want everyone else to be bothered by them too.  But here is the one idea that I have been trying to wrestle and live with: if God supplies our faith than we should pursue God in hopes that we are rewarded with faith.  And we need to ask God for faith.

After all, all things come from God.  That idea is peppered throughout scripture time and time again.  But, think about all the things that we see people having but don't really think about that coming from God as much as being the reward for that person's efforts and discipline.

For example, pick a person who is incredibly advanced in any academic discipline.  Physics, history, medical science, mathematics, it doesn't really matter the discipline.  If all things come from God then the knowledge that person attains or possesses has to have come from God.  But we never talk about it that way.  We rarely say, "Oh man, Steve has really been given a lot of physics knowledge by God."  No.  We never say anything like that.  We attribute the knowledge Steve has through his own efforts, and we need to do that.  We cannot forsake the effort we put into things and the rewards we then receive for those things.

However, there needs to be a both/and in this situation.  What I mean by that is simply that when it comes to our faith, yes it is something that comes from and is supplied by God.  But, we need to recognize that our faith is something we receive as the fruits of our own efforts, similar to the way individuals who do a substantial amount of studying will often attain more knowledge as the fruits of those efforts.

Our faith is something God supplies, but he supplies us based on our effort and desire for that faith.

So maybe we need to reassess how we think about our faith.  Perhaps we need to reassess our efforts and practices before we go pointing the finger at God for not supplying us with a more substantial faith when the majority of our actions spit in the face or are indifferent to the existence of our faith.

Maybe we need to ask God for help and for more faith.  And that very prayer, that very prayer, can be something we will reap the fruit of in our own faith.

Peace.

I Never Saved Anyone

I think sometimes when we talk about our faith and about the way we are trying to reach people who aren’t Christians, we aren’t talking about things in a very adequate way. I have heard many people say things like, “we want to save the lost.” There are a couple problems with phrasing things about faith and people in this way.
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First off, it calls people “lost.” Now, I am in no way suggesting that people who aren’t Christians are, in some sense, lost, but I am suggesting that labeling them as “the lost” is probably a little unhelpful. I would suggest that we would be better off talking about people who aren’t Christians the way we would talk about them if they were right there with us. I don’t think I would ever refer to someone as being one of “the lost” or being “lost” in general to their face because they weren’t a Christian.

 The main reason I wouldn’t do that is because I don’t think it is helpful to label someone in that way because people aren’t receptive to labels a lot of times (although I may just be taking my own distaste for being labeled and projecting that on others). It just doesn’t seem likely that anyone, at least people here in this college setting, would be very welcoming of being told that they are “lost.” We might be better off calling people who are “the lost” as simply people who don’t think Jesus is the Son of God; we can just say they aren’t Christians and that can be sufficient.
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Secondly, did you notice that the phrase suggests that we are the one doing the saving? “We want to save the lost.” That implies that “we” have the power to save someone. I don’t have the power to save anyone. Christ is the one who saves, not me and not you. Even when my friend first told me about Jesus and Christianity when I was in high school, that person wasn’t not the one who saved me, Jesus was the one who saved me. You see, we cannot fall into a mindset that neglects to recognize that the fate of people lies outside our grasp and is actually in the hands of Christ. I don’t save people and neither does anyone else.

The way that I think about it is that although my friend Tim was one of the primary people who shared what he knew of Christianity, he was not the one who saved me nor was he even the primary player in me coming to Christ. Everything from cheesy bumper stickers to films to music lyrics to my parents to friends to radio talk show hosts had a hand in forming what my opinion of God was and got me to a place where when Tim spoke to me I would be receptive.

In that sense, my fate was barely in Tim’s hands at all; my fate was in the hands of hundreds of people before I even met Tim!
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Now, I am in no way attempting to discount the act of evangelism or say that we aren’t to share our faith. Please don’t think that is what I’m trying to say. What I am suggesting is that the pressure we put on people to tell others about Jesus in very explicit and direct ways can sometimes be encouraging those people to think that the fate of “the lost” is in their hands. I just do not think that is true.

The fate of those people is in Christ’s hands alone and the moment we let ourselves think (or pressure others to think) that we are responsible for the souls of people is the moment we are completely disrespecting the work of the cross.
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People do accept Jesus as being what the Bible claims He is and people do become Christians after hearing the stories from the Gospel books. That is a truly wonderful thing and I am certain it brings God much joy. However, I think we need to recognize that if we are the individuals who are telling people the stories from the Gospel or we are telling people who Jesus is, then we need to recognize that it has taken that person their entire life to get to that point where they have become open to accepting those truths.

We cannot think that we are responsible for that person’s soul. We are simply the last straw on a pile full of hundreds of thousands previous straws that finally broke the back.
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I never saved anyone nor will I ever. I pray that I am just one straw in the lives of many many people who are all getting closer to the breaking point of following Jesus.
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Peace.

Failing

I live in an environment where the idea of failing is brutally scary. Failing, specifically in an educational setting, carries both an individual and communal aspect to it.

In one sense, failing or not failing carries some dehumanizing effect of how you, as an individual, either are or are not "satisfactory" in the things you do.  On the other hand, failing is what separates you as unfit to remain a part of a community; failing means you don't belong.  This two-seamed meaning of what it is to fail in my current setting makes having "failed" be just about the last thing you want to be true of yourself.
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There are, of course, other ideas and applications of the term failing.  In general, to fail at something means that not only did you not do something particularly well but whatever you did was so poor that it wasn't even acceptable.

However, interestingly enough, knowing the origin these standards of acceptability or otherwise is really important.  This is because it is important to differentiate between the standards we set for ourselves and the ones which are mandated to us by others.  Both have obvious weaknesses and, in effect, will claim something of us in an oversimplified way that is very problematic.  Even still, we are constantly being graded either by ourselves or by others.  Sometimes we pass, sometimes we fail.

Such is life.
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What I think is most important is how we handle the situations we find ourselves in whenever we are on the brink of failing.

It is clear to me that I often have standards set for myself which are very unforgiving and offer little grace even in their existence.  I suspect others have a habit of setting up for themselves equally unfair standards and being substantially bothered when they "fail."  Sometimes it seems to point to a lack of self-dicipline and the inability to follow through with what we start.  But I don't think that is the whole story.

I think that if we are honest with ourselves we can say that a lot of us push ourselves too hard.  We bite off more than we can chew.  We accept responsibility for things to the extent that our responsibilities outweigh our abilities.  That isn't to say our abilities are poor or that we don't have anything to offer.  I would say that it has more to do with the fact that we are believing in an illusion that we must be these productive efficiency machines which need no rest and seem to run better with the more there is to do.

I don't think that is an accurate depiction of what people essentially are, and we become painfully aware of that when we look in the mirror or when we "fail."  Yet, that doesn't mean we compromise our expectations or standards, rather we just loathe the image in that mirror and whatever it represents: us.
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Consider as well the standards that differentiate "failing" or not that are often instituted to us.  These standards divide us into two groups: satisfactory and unsatisfactory.  Such a separation suggests that whatever the task at hand, it has something to say about your worth to the community at hand.  Now, no doubt there are communities and environments where only those with a specific skill set are needed or useful, but those communities are fewer and further between than the majority of situations in which I think we find ourselves.  Instead of simply understanding that this moment of failing is more to do with overall circumstances and our ability to complete some very specific task, we take this assessment to extend to our worth as an overall individual.  And to be labeled as a failure, a blanket statement over all that we are, is more painful than we can necessarily comprehend outside of the experience.

It is beyond sad.
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It is sad because it isn't true.  It is sad because the idea of failing has penetrated our understanding of who we are as people.

Failing is damaging because we allow whatever task at hand, whether assigned to us or a challenge of our choosing, to define us.  Our identity becomes wrapped up in what we can or cannot do; and specifically what others have to say about our abilities.

Allowing our identity to become wrapped up in what other people have to say of us is very risky.  Whatever affirmation we do receive from people is fleeting in much of its essence (which is why affirmation is consistently needed again and again).

And so it becomes necessary to define ourselves differently than we do or what people have to say about what we do.  We must have identity in something else.
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This is a very difficult and very uncomfortable transition to go through.  But I do think it is a good transition.  It's a transition into a kind of identity that has longevity.  It's a transition into believing things about ourselves that dont have to adjust at the whims of others opinions.

And that is good because peoples opinions are fickle.

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You can "fail" and it's okay.  People will still value you for the most part and the ones that don't aren't so important.  But the really big things that matter the most wont change.  Things that are bigger than you, things that define who you are because of the fact God created you and He only creates things that are good, won't shift or rattle.  They'll be consisent.  Even if you fail.

You can't fail out of God's love.
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Peace.

Bad Reflections

"Love your neighbor as yourself"

Mark 12:31
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I, probably like most of you, will have that phrase stuck in my head for (hopefully) the rest of my life.  And that isn't such a bad thing.  This statement has a lot to say about God and who He is and what He wants.

And there are two sides to that story.
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Side one speaks to many people who fail to recognize the far reaching implications of the word "neighbor."  Neighbors, in this context, are not just your community, not just your friends, not just your family, and not just your country.

We are all neighbors.
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The far-reaching potential of the implementation of this phrase is litterally life changing, then.  This kind of thing changes the world.  And although so many of us know this phrase and grasp this aspect of the story, the phrase goes unnoticed.  It is just as unappreciated as the man who originally spoke the words.  Unfortunately.

However, the implementation of this phrase doesn't end the debates of how love looks and what kind of actions can be considered appropriate in the difficult contexts.  Can't love look like many different things on the surface?  Yes, probably.  Can't love be unrealistic?  Yes, probably.  Won't we find ourselves in situations where loving one person means not loving another?  Yes, probably.  Isn't it difficult to decipher whether justice and love are one in the same or one is being neglected over the other?  Yes, probably.

That doesn't change the fact that after loving God, this is our primary command as people.

Period.
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So stew on that, I suppose.  The questions above have been around and will be around for a long time, I imagine, because it's hard to answer them in an adequate way; a way that doesn't seem to compromise some other value deep within us that is a part of the way we were created.  Whether those are desires for justice or fairness or equality, they embody something true about the world, but they are subordinate to love.  Or at least should be.
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And so we find ourselves on the other side of the conversation about this original statement.  The "as yourself" part.

Now what I see as inherently a part of this statement is the assumption that you, yourself, are valuable and deserving of love.  You are, after all, everyone else's neighbor just as they are all yours, aren't you?

If you aren't worth loving and it is acceptable to hate yourself, then this statement is basically asking you to do no more than to hate all your neighbors, and that doesn't seem to do much good.  Some people might argue that does some good and reflects how the world is, but I don't think those people are right.
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I think I have seen people get to a place where what they see in the mirror isn't what they want to see.  And so they hate what it is a reflection of.

Them-self.
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What becomes problematic about this is that this statement seems to carry some weight to these individuals, however, and so they desire to still treat others well.  They want to love their neighbors.  And that is good.  They should.

But what they fail to realize is that this statement also comments on the inherent value of people.  The inherent value of not only your neighbors, but of yourself.

They fail to see that no matter how bad that reflection gets and no matter how much our neighbors fail to love us the way they love themselves, God loves us.  God loves you.  He loves me.  And He loves our neighbors.  Which are again, you and me (among others, of course.).
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God is love.  And to think that he is anything else first and foremost is a misunderstanding of the person of God which leads to numerous misunderstandings of who we are and who our neighbors are.  What a grave mistake that could be.

What damage that could do to the world.
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There may be things to be mad about.  I won't doubt that.  There may be things to be sorry about.  I'm sure there are plenty.  There may be things to regret.  I'm positive that's also true.

But none of those facts affect whatsoever that you are loved and it is right and appropriate to accept that love for yourself.

Love yourself and know that is okay, because God loves you too.  And He only loves what is good.

You are good.
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Peace.

Moving Pictures

I am taking 2 cinema classes this semester which each are requiring to watch or 'read' a combined total of at least 31 movies.  And I think I'm actually really going to love that.
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I really love movies.

I actually tend to call them 'films,' but not because I think it is more appropriate or actually means anything inherently different than 'movie' (although it very well may indicate something very different), but basically because I think it makes me sound more informed or cultured.

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The reason I love 'films' are because of their ability to help me feel less lost in my own life.  They remind me that I'm not crazy for the things I think and feel.

Films can display stories and characters that embody emotions and thoughts and feelings that are very real and that I have experienced in my own life.  A lot of times, when I experience these emtions or think these thoughts I tend to not really trust myself and feel as though I'm not reacting appropraitely or basically that I'm crazy.

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But in films, I see stories that are real and people react in appropriate and believable ways, and the reason that is so comforting is because those characters (often but not always) react the same way I do.

And if they handle life and respond the same as me, then I guess I'm not crazy.

Or we all are.  In either case I can live with it.

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Peace.

Christmas

It is Christmas, and I'd be lying if i didn't feel conflicted about today, and the season, and the way we typically celebrate it.

Now just for clarification, this will not be a rant where I condemn the American understanding and celebration of Christmas.  This post is just some thoughts I've been having the last couple weeks, and they will probably all be things you already have thought of yourself.
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My status on facebook today is, "Merry Christmas friends! Jesus was born to show us what life with God looks like, what our lives should be, and to take our sins that we could not bear. Remember his love for you and others. You are loved and in need of such love! Thanks be to God!"

I mean those words, and I really wish that the way that I celebrated the Christmas season reflected that those words are what this holiday is about.  But, honestly, I feel off because I don't see those words in my celebration of this season.  And that makes me feel sad and kind of disappointed.
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There is no one to blame but myself, but I very much let this season transition into being about 2 different things: excess and rest.

Rest I'm okay with.  I think that rest is an appropriate way for me to experience these few weeks considering what just ended in my college semester and what is upcoming in the next.  And truth be told, I've been resting but I've also been productive.  It seems like, more than anything else, I've been resting from social interaction and have kind of retreated back to a place where responsibility is low and I'm pretty free to do what I'd like when I'd like.  Truly, I am thankful for this aspect of my Christmas season.  It is rewarding and gives me the freedom to be productive in ways I really value.

Excess, I think, is where a lot of my discomfort is coming from.  I'd bet that many people in similar settings to myself would say that during the holiday seasons at home with family, there just seems to be "more" of just about everything.  This doesn't have to be a bad thing whatsoever; after all, I do think that celebrating and joy is such an important thing in Christianity.  Even still, I think that my experience with excess isn't always based purely out of celebrating joy because of Christ, but out of my own selfish desire for "more."  That is prompts me to keep spending more and eating more and taking more and more and more and more.  The thing that makes it difficult is that I've become somewhat aware of it, and that is what springs this difficulty; no one likes experiencing discontinuity in him/herself.
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A lot of my friends have been using the phrase "wait and hope."  That is an accurate way to think about this season, wait for in what you have hope.  Either way, I think I'm aware I wasn't waiting for anything this Christmastime.  As a matter of fact, there was no preparation on my part, no waiting, no anxiousness, no desiring for what is to come... none of that was present in my spirit.
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I really feel impoverished by the lack of those things in my attitude towards Christmas this year, and those things are the focus of the Advent season.  It may be safe to say that my mishandling of Christmas was prompted by my lack of involvement with the Advent season.  Needless to say, I wish I had handled that better.

It is understandable, though, to be caught up in a fast-paced time and miss what is important; happens all the time.  All that to say, no one is to blame and although I know what Christmas is about and should be about I wish I had given the season the demeanor and attention it deserved.
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This time is about Jesus.  It's not about me.

It's remembering and waiting and celebrating and thankfulness and joy.

Jesus did come.  He was born do the best things that could be done for us.  He came to do things we could not do for ourselves.  He came to save us, because we are loved.

Show others that love, know you are loved, and know you are in need of that love.

I truly wish all of you a very very Merry Christmas time, full of love that brings joy and thankfulness.
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Peace.

By Faith

The Pharisees had one big, monumental flaw; they thought they were the source of their own righteousness.  They were convinced and comfortable with the understanding that their lives and their adherence to the law is what made them righteous.

Well.  If Jesus and Paul don't have something to say about that...
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Paul makes a very influential and well-known distinction about righteousness in Romans.  He goes back and talks about Abraham, the man who was willing to sacrifice his own son at the request of God.  Paul explains that it was Abraham's faith that imparted righteousness to him.

Now, before we go any further let's really make sure we've wrapped our minds around that.

"Faith = Righteousness."

He does not say that "The Law = Righteousness."  Nor does he say "Action = Righteousness"

"Abraham believed the Lord, and it was credited to him as righteousness." - Romans 4:3/Genesis 15:6
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And this is where the Pharisees had it all wrong.  They didn't grasp the understanding that faith is what justifies a person.  They didn't grasp that the law wasn't the tool which made a person righteous.  In fact, the law does the exact opposite!  If you read on in Romans you will see Paul explain what it is that the law actually does in terms of righteousness and being justified.

"The law was added so that the trespass might increase." - Romans 5:20
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Did you get that?  How is it that The Law can be blamed for trespass?  Well, it does this because it creates the potential for people to break the law, right?  If there are no rules, then no punishment can come as a result of actions that have no consequences tied to them.  But, if we have The Law and these lists of procedures of do's and don'ts then we have all these opportunities to do what The Law tells us not to or to not do what The Law says we should do.

The Law breeds trespass.  It sets clear boundaries so that sin becomes categorically identifiable.
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So do you see why this left the Pharisees out in the cold?  No person lacks the capability to live a sinless life.  Only Christ did that.  And here is a news flash for you: Christ didn't even always adhere to The Law!  Check out Matthew 12:1-14 and you will see Jesus break The Law two times in one day and the Pharisees become so aggravated that they start plotting to kill Jesus.

That should send up all your red flags to make it clear that the Pharisees were completely invested in the wrong idea of righteousness!  Following The Law, even to the tee, does not reconcile you with God.  It doesn't impart righteousness to you the way you need it.
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And this is where all the, "well I'm a good person so I'm sure God and I are okay" is completely debunked.  Doing or not doing certain things is far less important to God than the relationship you develop with God when you have faith.

That relationship through Jesus is the only way that true reconciliation is achieved.  It is because of all our unrighteousness is taken from us and put on Jesus, who took it to hell for us.  And that moment, not only have we handed over all these ugly and painful trespasses, sins, and transgressions against people and against God, but in that same moment that we gave it up, Jesus gave us His righteousness.

So in that moment, our faith is what has allowed Christ's righteousness to be imparted to us in exchange for our unrighteousness.
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Do you see the monumental difference between achieving righteousness like that and achieving it the way the Pharisees were trying to?  The Pharisees were actually so caught up in this whole debacle that they believed and taught that if everyone would just simply keep to The Law and it's guidelines for one single day, the Messiah would come to earth and save everyone.

But these are night and day differences to how we become righteous.  In one instance, it is all about what has been done for us.  In the other, it is all about what we do ourselves.  And as I'm sure we have all learned, doing things by ourselves is often hard and unsuccessful.
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I make this whole argument for one reason; I think today we may be walking a fine line of becoming Pharisees of a different kind.  A kind that focuses on social justice instead of The Law.

I say that because sometimes amidst all of the Christian activism today, Jesus gets lost.  I know I haven't been on the scene forever, but I've noticed that Jesus doesn't always gets the props He deserves in those settings.

I've seen it, instead, become more about people doing whatever they are doing because it is about them.  It is about them doing these works to receive or maintain righteousness in their life.  But that just isn't how it works.
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We really need to embrace and grasp the understanding that the good things which flow out of our lives and the good works we do are a product of our faith and the righteousness imparted to us by that faith.

We need to always remember that we are dead to ourselves, and it is Jesus living through us in those things we do and social justice issues we are addressing.

And we need to remember that "we walk by faith, not by sight." - 2 Corinthians 5:7
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I do nothing.  I am weak.  Jesus is strong.  And it is in my weakness that He shows up and does things that wouldn't happen if it was just me and not Him.  That is how I know that Jesus is the one working through me and doing things.  It is because of Jesus that good works come out of me, because they are a product of my soul changing more and more into what He wants it to be and look like.

"The Lord said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." - 2 Corinthians 12:9
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The Law had us in chains, and it created trespasses because we are weak.  But remember we are now free from The Law in that way.

"The law was added so that the trespass might increase. But where sin increased, grace increased all the more, so that, just as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." - Romans 5:20-21
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Peace.

Anticipating Change

**A reformatted and reedited article I wrote**
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Transitions are always difficult; primarily because most of the time they are mandatory. In addition to the lack of choice we have when dealing with a transitional time, there is also a large amount of uncertainty.  More so than usual.

Transitions always bring with them questions about what life will be like on the other side of this change.  And whether or not we can even make it after that change.

And perhaps the questions we face that we are most invested in are these: Will I be happy in this new place or this next season of life? Will I be content? Will I be fulfilled? Will the things I’m doing be life-giving?
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Some might be in the midst of one such life transition, but one large population (of which I am apart) has one coming right around the corner; right around the month of May.

Graduation.
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We will be leaving our institutions, and most will probably be leaving their current locations altogether. So much of what has become familiar and comfortable over the past four or so years will be completely gone.

A season of life that most people in the world never experience, and that those who do almost never experience more than once, is over.
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Even short breaks probably give some students, regardless of class standing, a taste of how odd transitions can be. They leave college and go home or they go visit someone/someplace we wouldn’t otherwise see and noticeably feel the difference of a life rhythm that exists in the college academic machine versus just about everywhere else. Obligations and priorities are vastly different during normal school times and during breaks, and sometimes I imagine if that break were permanent (which is essentially how it will be after graduation) what I would do with all that free time and freedom.

And that is a kind of exhilarating and exciting question! Until, that is, you factor in all the new responsibilities that come with that transition.  The school loans, the rent, the groceries, and all the additional expenses that I'll be supplying for myself.

Then the question isn’t exhilarating.  It’s just stressful.
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And that may be where some of the apprehension of moving on really comes in. All transitions have us leaving something we know and have a good handle on into something less predictable.  We know what it looks like to get food, have a place to live, drive a car, and handle finances (at least to an extent) while being in college.  We've been doing it for almost four years.

But not only will we have to figure out how to juggle taking care of those things after the institution no longer does most of it for us, but we'll have to do it in a completely different social setting. I won’t live on a floor with some of my closest friends with the rest of the people I care about most only a couple hundred yards away in a different building. I will live somewhere very different from that, even if it is still in Canton.

A lot of the people I am around now will be in a lot of different places. And most of those places will probably be far away form me and each other.
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As sad as it may be to leave or as uncomfortable as it might be to go, I can’t help but suggest that perhaps the most appropriate response to the whole experience is thankfulness. Thankful for the things we have been able to experience. Thankful for the time of our lives where we became (with or without our institutions) more of who we will be for the rest of our lives. Thankful for the relationships, thankful for the memories, thankful for the knowledge, and thankful for the ability to learn so much.  Whether it is by seeing things done well or seeing them done poorly.
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There is an aspect of trust that I think is appropriate for entering transitions, even with them being so riddled with uncertainty.

We can trust that we valuable and worth being taken care of.  That those needs we have will be met.
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One of the more interesting things to me in the Lord's prayer is that Jesus encourages us only to ask for our daily bread when it comes meeting our provisions. The rest of our desires and preferences are peripheral compared to having this world resemble how God would have it. His will before ours, right? 
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And if that is the case, regardless of all the anxieties, sadness, or uncertainty that follows us as some of us move into a different season of life, we can trust that if we pursue that with our lives, we will be taken care of. Not that it won’t be hard or maybe even uncomfortable, but we will know that we are doing what we were made to do.

And that is what will be most fulfilling.
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Peace.

Rejoice In Hope

"Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us."

- Romans 5:1-5
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Everyone experiences suffering.  We all have.  Some of us to much harsher and more difficult degrees than others, but we have still all felt the sting of suffering in some way.  And some of us even feel it right now.

And that suffering can make joy really hard.
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Sometimes suffering creates these really hard situations where feeling joy would almost seem artificial.  It would make us feel like we were fake.  It makes us think that the present context shouldn't allow joy; it should only be creating sorrow.
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But even still, joy is sort of talked abut as this attitude or demeanor we carry which blankets our life and the way we see the world.  No matter what.

And I do agree with that assessment of joy.  But the question that remains is how do we maintain or preserve that joy in suffering when joy appears to be the last response appropriate for the situation?
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I think the answer to that question is in the wording of this passage.

"Rejoice in hope."

Hope.
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Hope is the key to joy which we are supposed to have embedded deep in our souls.  We are able to maintain joy because we have hope.  Hope in the future.  Hope in what is to come.  Hope in that this suffering is not the end.

We have joy simply because we have hope.
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So I am here to suggest that perhaps the source to a problem with joy is actually a problem with hope.

We all know what people who lack hope look like.  They are the pessimists.  And I can say that because that has been (and sometimes still is) me.  It's the people who can't give anything in the world the benefit of the doubt.  It's the people who scoff at idealist-type ideas because they lack confidence in humanity and its ability to at all now resemble what it was meant to be.  It is because they have no hope.

And that is because to them it is foolish to hope in something so broken and something so shattered.
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On the contrary, we also know what people who have hope look like.  They show sincere love and gentleness in the awful times.  They shine in all that they do.  And in the bad situations they shine all the more because they see potential where everyone else sees waste.  To them, the foolish thing is to write off something that was created good in an effort to appear realistic.

They shine with hope because they have allowed the Holy Spirit to pour God's love into their hearts.

God's love.  Not theirs.
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One thing we have to understand is that we don't have the capability to love well.  God gives us the capability to love people we wouldn't otherwise love and in ways we wouldn't otherwise know through his Spirit.  It is that simple.

It isn't me who loves people that I don't know just because they need help.  It isn't me who has compassion for the homeless or the brokenhearted or the child from the broken home.

It's Jesus.

But Jesus is in me.  "It is no longer I who live but Christ who lives in me," Galatians 2:20.  And the Holy Spirit "has been given to us" (verse 5).

And so it is truly Jesus loving through me that gives me the ability to love in ways otherwise impossible.
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So it is hope that gives us the ability to have joy that we wouldn't otherwise be able to have.  And we know how it is we come to have hope.  It is through the process Paul outlines right here.

"Suffering produces endurance"

"Endurance produces character"

"Character produces hope"

"And hope does not put us to shame"
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There is no shame in having hope.  There is no shame in seeing the potential that no one else sees in broken and hurting places and situations.  There is nothing foolish about that.  There is everything Christlike about that.
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Now in this process we can all think of people who have stopped at all kinds of different places along the path to hope.

Some people suffer and stay stuck in the role of a victim.  They get blindsided and become paralyzed to even maneuver or handle the situation which is at hand.  They don't develop endurance; they don't develop character.  They simply feel as though everything is unfair and can't see past the fact that they have been wronged.

Some people suffer and become calloused.  They endure.  They endure and endure and endure and endure but nothing comes from it other than they become numb.  No matter what happens, and no matter what suffering exists, they feel nothing because their life is about enduring.  And that is all.

Some people endure and become individuals with strong character.  And they get a good handle on things.  They understand the world better than they ever have.  But they are negative.  They become frozen in the perspective that the world is what it is; the world is disappointing.  The potential for more is unlikely, and the opportunity for change is low.

They see the world through the world's eyes.

They refuse to let hope and love that they wouldn't otherwise manifest itself in them really take root.

Because hope seems foolish.
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But it isn't.  There is no shame and no foolishness in seeing the potential in the world.  There is only rejoicing and joy.

It just makes sense that joy is a fruit of the Spirit, doesn't it?
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Let our sufferings build in us endurance that gives us a character of hope.
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Peace.