Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Looking Through A Different Lens

I feel like I am starting to struggle to see people through the same lens as God.  Not all the time, but I am noticing my struggle.
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It is easier to not see people in that lens because they don't matter to you as much.  You don't feel this wicked amount of compassion being ripped from you all the time.  You don't want to be or feel as invested in everyone.  

And, as a consequence of caring or not caring for someone, they don't have the ability to hurt you as much.
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But I would rather hurt and be You, Lord, than heal and be me.  Always.
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"We shall draw nearer to God, not by trying to avoid the sufferings inherent in all loves, but by accepting them and offering them to Him; throwing away all defensive armour.  If our hearts need to be broken, and if He chooses this as the way in which they should break, so be it."
-C.S. Lewis

"Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins."
-1 Peter 4:8
...

Peace.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Just Friends

Most of us have been in a place or gone through the experience where imagining being "just friends" with someone we deeply care about fills us with disappointment, sadness, frustration, anger, depression, hurt, and tons of other painful emotions that drag us down.

Those experiences suck.  They suck bad.
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In those relationships, the other person does not want to commit to you in a way that makes your relationship more serious because their feelings and attachment to you doesn't reflect yours.  Well why does that make a difference?  It makes a huge difference, as we all know, because in relationships there is an aspect of mutuality and responsibility both parties share.  You are responsible to him/her and she/he is responsible to you; and you both want it that way.

That is one of the things that makes relationships so beautiful; mutuality.  You both want what it is you have with each other.  At least, you want it enough to stay in it and work through things and hopefully have something that is really rewarding and amazing.  (Granted, that is not always how it looks, but for the sake of my point I'll stick to the more positive side of things.)
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So, when you get into a relationship with a person, you have the responsibility to not hurt that person.  That person has handed you their heart and now they trust you to keep it and not kill it.  Sometimes, rejecting their heart because you are not up for that responsibility doesn't make things not hurt, its just a different stage of the process that brought about the pain; it came sooner than later.

Rob Bell, in his book  Sex God, wrote that when we love another person and want to pursue something romantic with them, we are handing our heart to them.  When they turn us down, the reason it aches and hurts so bad deep inside is because we offered a piece of ourselves to them and they rejected it.  That hurts.  That hurts bad.
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How often do you think that we tell God we want to stay "just friends" with Him? 

I gotta tell you, I think that God loves us so much that He chases after us and pursues us constantly.  I think a lot of times God asks us to have a very intimate and deep relationship with him, but we freeze.  We will stop dead in our tracks, because we don't want that responsibility.  Some of us think that we can't handle the responsibility, and some of us just don't want to be that tied down.  Being good friends is much safer.  

The more casual our relationship with God the more insulated we feel from our responsibility to Him.
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Unfortunately, or maybe not so unfortunately, we can't really side step what our relation to God is.  When it comes down to it, we can put it off and stall and make as many excuses as we want, but we were made to be in an intimate relationship with God.  It is simply in our design as creatures.  
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It is a crushing blow to love someone and have them reject your heart and hand it back to you.  Love is just a dangerous game.  C.S. Lewis wrote that the only place we will ever escape all the dangers of love outside of Heaven will be Hell.  Since we aren't in Heaven and we are hopefully not on the way to Hell, love is always going to be here and it is always going to be dangerous and tough.  That is just the way our world works.  But even still, loving is the most rewarding thing and, ultimately, the most Christ-like thing many of us will ever do in this world.
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I'm not sure if you remember what it feels like to be told that someone didn't want to have a relationship that was anything more than friends with you, when you clearly had feelings that were much stronger than friendship.  If you don't know from experience, let me tell you that it is crushing.  It can cripple you.

So now take a look at your relationship with God.  We all know where He stands and what His feelings toward us are.  We all know how much He loves us; so much that He died for us.  But what are you saying back to Him?  That is what really matters.  We can't change God and how He pursues us or the fact that He loves us.  All we can do is change our response to His love.
...

"If you have ever given yourself to someone and had your heart broken, you know how God feels.  If you have ever given yourself to someone and found yourself waiting for their response, exposed and vulnerable, left hanging in the balance, you know how God feels." - Rob Bell

Peace.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

The Day Does Not Belong To Me

One evening last week I heard a man talking about how every morning he wakes up and asks, "God, what are you going to do today?"

He asks because he knows that our lives are not about us; they are about the people God can use us to reach.  And then one day down the line it, for those people it won't be about them anymore either; it will be about the people God can now use them them to reach.
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How far away from that mindset do we find ourselves the majority of the time?

I'll tell you what I do.  Every day I wake up and have this selfish desire deep inside for God to catch my attention today.  What I want is for God to set up spotlights around the things I will come across that day so I know who or what I am supposed to engage and who or what I can ignore with a clear conscious.

Do you see the difference?
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Anything less than coming to God everyday and saying, "Here I am, what I can I do for you and your Son?" is not acceptable.
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Now, maybe you are in the process of getting to that point.  You don't feel like you are a person God can use because you don't know enough or you aren't mature enough or you haven't experienced enough.  Whether or not that is true isn't important.  What is important is to recognize that if you never get to the point where you are asking yourself, consistently, "God, what are you going to do with me?  Because I'm ready," then you are never reaching your potential as a follower of Christ.

Plain and simple.
...

The realization is nothing spectacular.  To be honest, I think it is just something we are lazy about.  I mean, really, who in their right mind wants to give up the right to use today "how I want" to use today?  No one but Jesus.  (But the good news is: He lives in you, craziness and all.)

No one ever sacrificed everything they ever wanted and desired as perfectly as we should, except Jesus.  No one ever gave up their entire life and all that came with it for what the Father desires, except Jesus.  No one was ever perfect, except Jesus.  But hey, no one ever said following Christ was easy.

But it's worth it.
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Jesus said to his disciples, "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.  For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.  What good will it be for you to gain the whole world, yet forfeit your soul? Or what can you give in exchange for your soul?  For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father's glory with his angels, and then he will reward everyone according to what they have done."

Matthew 16:24-27
...

Peace.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Movies Movies Movies

I love movies.  This summer I have watched a lot of movies.  There is no way I can remember all the movies I have seen so far this summer.  Even still, I will try to give a few quick reviews of the movies I remember I've seen this summer.
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THE HAPPENING - I don't dislike Mark Walberg at all, and I was really routing for a good performance.  Nope.  I was denied.  The acting by Walberg was terrible.  It sounded like every line he said he was reading for the first time.  The script didn't help him any.

3 out of 10
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THE INCREDIBLE HULK - As my roommate Sam said, "If you watched it on mute it would be a kick-ass movie."  A lot of the dialogue was just really poor.  Espicially William Hurt.  Ugh, it made me cringe at times.  Liv Tyler and Edward Norton were pretty solid, to be honest.  But aside from the fact that a solid portion of the movie was decent, some things that happen in that movie are just ridiculous.  Maybe I'm just spoiled from the next movie I'm about to review.

5 out of 10
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THE DARK KNIGHT - Amazing.  Incredible.  Astonishing.  Phenomenal.  The Nolan brothers writing was amazing.  The direction was flawless.  The performances from Bale, Oldman, Gyllenhaal, Freeman, and Caine were all awesome.  Just awesome.  Eckhart was an fantastic Harvey Dent.  Heath... oh, Heath.  Ledger's performance has actually made me want to act again.  It was such an experience to see him put a face on a character so sinister and dark that he didn't seem real.  Albeit, I know that it was only possible for Heath to do what he did because of the amazing script the Nolan brothers gave him.  The whole movie has made me want to write and act again.  It was just that amazing.

On the trivial side, I will say that the incredible detail the sonar was able to give batman was a little too much for me.  I love how realistic Chris Nolan is trying to do everything, but that sonar just seemed to be such a step away from that.  I didn't like it.  Also, the CGI Two-Face was a little much for me.  I'm not saying I have an alternative, just that looking at it was a little distracting, in a bad way.  The last thing I will say is that Harvey Dent turned a little easier than I thought he would.  He was so strong the entire movie, then after one event he just gave up.  I think there is a case to be made for the way it went.

All those critiques are more than trivial, and the movie is still my favorite movie EVER.  Seriously, if you have not seen this, or have seen it only once, go see it.  RIGHT NOW!

10 out of 10
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THE STRANGERS - I wanted this to be good.  I really really did.  It was freaky, yes.  It wasn't scary for the hour and twenty I was in the theater though.  I love the fact that the motive was random.  I loved that a lot.  But I suppose when there is no motive, there is no plot.  That may have been why only freaky cinematography was all the movie has to offer.  Also, the ending... I was not happy.  Either way, I just wish the movie has more to offer than people popping out and some creepy scenes.  Just too predictable.

4 out of 10
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THE MISSION - This movie is not recent, but I saw it for the first time recently.  It was really solid.  Jeremy Irons and Robert De Niro were both really good and just the whole story was unique and something I really appreciated.  The spiritual aspect was also something I enjoyed.  The conflict of interest between De Niro and Irons is very valuable.  Everyone with any kind of interest in the Christian faith should see this.

8.5 out of 10
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TALLADEGA NIGHTS - This movie was just too random for me.  It is quotable, just like any other Will Ferrell movie.  It was funny, but the plot and some of the scenes just seemed to random and dragged on.  I guess I'm glad I can say I've seen it, but it wasn't what I was hoping for.

6 out of 10
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INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL - Sure, it was cool to see another Indy movie.  Sure, Shia Lebouf was a pleasant surprise.  However, George Lucas needs to stop.  He just needs to stop.  This movie has an ending and a story line that is just so crazy... I don't know what else to say.  If you are going to see this movie, it should only be because it is an Indiana Jones movie and Harrison came back to do it.  There really isn't any other worthy justification.

4 out of 10
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THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: PRINCE CASPIAN - I haven't read the book, but this was entertaining.  Peter really got on my nerves.  I'm just saying, the kid had a chip on his shoulder that really started to piss me off.  Its okay thought, last movie Edmund made me want to punch him right in the face.  In this one, that responsibility just shifted to Peter.  So be it, I enjoyed watching this movie.  Aside from the bear who had the most hilarious voice and Lucy's line early in the movie, "Feels like magic!" (what does magic feel like?  And how would you know Lucy, eh?) the movie was pretty solid.

7.75 out of 10
...

That is all I can remember as of now that I've seen this summer for the first time.  Hope they help.

Peace.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Waste Time In Creative Ways

I heard about this through another blog, so it is in no way an original idea.  But it was too fun not to pass on.  (I'm starting to hate how this sounds like I'm justifying an email forward... all of which I HATE!)
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1. Go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first random Wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2. Go to Random quotations: http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.

3. Go to flickr's "explore the last seven days" at http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/
Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.
Put it all together, that's your debut album.
...

My future album is:

Chand Kings - Be At Your Side


...

I thought it was fun.

Peace.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Live, From Vacation

I can only imagine checking this blog occasionally and seeing every single time the only posts that are being are added are merely quotes from books I've read.  I'm sorry, but I guess I'm starting to summer coming to an end, and that is stressing me out because I have a lot to get organized and done before that happens.
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This past friday we did The Big Event at Rivertree, which was a way to get a large group of people connected and hopefully plugged into Thrive groups in one night.  Me and Toby came up with the format and it was one of my biggest projects for the summer.  It went well.  We had to deal with a lot of last minute changes, but hey, thats ministry.  

In all honesty, that is one of the things I have learned over and over again while at Rivertree: that things will change last second in ministry all the time and you just need to be cool with that.  God will get out of your efforts what He desires, and thats is ultimately what we always want.  So in the end, everything is cool.  But seriously, that is a lesson you can only learn and grow comfortable with through experience.  At least that's my opinion.
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So I've obviously been reading a lot this summer.  That is cool.  Read a lot of good books.  The funny thing is... the list of books I want to read just keeps getting longer.  I can only imagine that that is how it is going to be for the rest of my life at this point.  I don't think I'm going to be able to read books as fast as they come across my radar.  How discouraging.  Ha.
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The rest of the summer is a lot of just gearing up to be ready when the switch happens back to school.  I have things to get done at the theater, I have books to read, I have to things to do academically for the internship, I have things to continue praying about and organizing for small groups, and I have a lot of debriefing and just casual conversations with people at Rivertree that are still happening.  It may not sound very stressful, but it feels very rushed to me.  Oh well, that really is life.
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As of now, I am in Pennsylvania.  Back home visiting the family for the first time since Mother's Day.  It is nice to come home and see everyone.  It's nice to be around people who, because of trial and error (and just the test of time), I feel have a real unconditional love for me.  That is so nice to be able to run to or just experience every time I come home.  I'm sure that is an obvious and unnecessary statement to make, but to me it was worth saying.

It has taken me being severely detached from my high school friends for over a year for me to actually want to see them again and spend time with them.  I was ready to move on, but now I'm ready to see people and say hi.  Hopefully I get to do that while I'm home.
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I am currently rereading Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis (slowly) and reading The Barbarian Way by Erwin McManus (very fast).  Hopefully I will get them both done by the time my vacation is over.  I just bought The Secret Message Of Jesus by Brian McLaren and want to get done with that by the time school starts.  I better pick it up.
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Not too much else is new.  Just kinda trying to stay connected and keep my head on straight.  This summer has been an amazing blessing.  I hope things continue to be as fruitful as this.

Hope things are well with you all.  Blessings.

Peace.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Under The Overpass

The book all incoming freshman need to read this next semester is called Under The Overpass: A Journey of Faith on the Streets of America by Mike Yankoski.

Mike his friend Sam travel to and live homeless in 6 cities over a 5 month period.  The book recaps much of Sam and Mike's journey and the way they were able to reflect upon their faith through their experiences on the streets and their interactions with numerous "church-goers" throughout those 5 months.

It was a really good book.  A lot of story telling and some really honest and valuable reflection from their perspective after going through that experience.  As usual, I have quotes to share.
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"For the life of me, I couldn’t find a connecting thread of radical, living obedience between what I said about my world and how I lived it."
---
"I sat there in church struggling to remember a time when I’d actually needed to lean fully on Christ rather than my own abilities.  Not much came to mind."
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"Lying there, in the same room as 150 drug addicts, felons, alcoholics, and homeless men, with Taylor snoring not three feet away, I suddenly felt entirely weak, unable, and inadequate to bridge the gap between myself and these men.  Then I realized I didn’t have to bridge that chasm.  That wasn’t my responsibility.  My responsibility was simply to be there, and to trust that the Lord would use me, that he would bridge the distance."
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"The men I was meeting were at the bottom—the worst point of their lives—and weren’t afraid to admit it.  But the ruin opened the way for honesty.  Pretending didn’t help anymore, and anyway, they didn’t have the strength to keep it up.  They just told it as it was, when it was.  I found that part of living in ruin refreshing."
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"Something critical is missing in places that care for the broken and needy if the only people there are also broken and needy.  Without the presence of people in the rescue missions whose lives are not defined by addiction, alcoholism, crime, and mental illness, there is little positive influence.  Chaplains and pastors can only spread themselves so far."
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"If we are the body of Christ—and Christ came not for the healthy but the sick—we need to be fully present in the places where people are most broken.  And it has to be more than just a financial presence.  That helps, of course.  But too often money is insulation—it conveniently keeps us from ever having to come face-to-face with a man or woman who life is in tatters."
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"Our good intentions and sound theology are wasted when the people we minister to don’t feel that we care about their immediate concerns."
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"All of God’s children are beggars at the foot of the Cross, broken people in need of mending."
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"A church is just a building if there’s no one in it."
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"Begging is hard.  It’s something you expect hungry dogs to do, but not men and women made in God’s image.  The minute you put out your hand, or open your guitar case, it feels like you’re writing 'failure' and 'weakness' all over yourself.  You’re telling everyone who comes by, 'I am unable.'  The message blares up and down the sidewalk, and across multiple lanes of traffic.  And the message doesn’t stop screaming until you pull back your hand, or close up your case."
---
"In his book The Ragamuffin Gospel, Brennan Manning writes, 'We are all equally privileged but unentitled beggars at the door of God’s mercy.'  I thought of that as person after person walked past without donating or even making eye contact.  I felt frustration rising until I realized how unentitled I really was.  No one deserves mercy.  And no one walking by owed us a dime.  Mercy is, by definition, undeserved, or else it isn’t mercy.  Every coin in the case looked different after that."
---
“I want to eat” no longer meant just walking to the refrigerator or ordering off the menu.  Every sandwich demanded hours of sitting on hot cement, playing and singing, trying to be heard above the noise of the street.  And on this afternoon, exhaustion from walking everywhere, the dehydration of living outside, and the lack of sleep from being constantly moved by the police and security guards had taken its toll.  So we just sat, half-aware, watching people ignore us."
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"When you kneel, hungry and broken at His table, you receive grace from Him you might, at some other time, have completely missed."
---
"I remember many times I had walked past a homeless man or woman sitting on the sidewalk, awkwardly averting my eyes and whistling to cover my discomfort.  I wondered if those men and women had been frustrated with me as I now was with the people who were walking down the stairs."
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"We agreed that our own ideas and expectations tended to make us deaf to hearing God’s will.  We needed, at least at times, to lay down and listen.  Leave the next move completely up to God."
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"What is your definition of a Christian?  Is it broad enough to encompass the drug dealers, pimps, prostitutes, and broken people of the world?  Jesus said that he came to heal the sick.  Drug dealers are messed up just the same as liars are messed up, just the same as all humans are messed up.  We all need Jesus.  We all struggle with personal ways in which sin plays itself out their eyes."
---
"What’s worse?  To not do dope or to not love your brother?  Why do we kick drug users out of the church while quietly ignoring those who aren’t dealing with other, equally destructive sins?  Why do we reject the loving, self-sacrificing, giving, encouraging, Jesus-pursing drug addict but recruit the clean, self-interested, gossiping, loveless churchgoer?  Which one do you supposed Jesus would rather share a burrito with under a bridge?"
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"If we as believers choose to forget that everyone—even the shrunken soul lying in the doorway—is made in the image of God, can we say we know our Creator?  If we respond to others based on their outward appearance, haven’t we entirely missed the point of the gospel?"
---
"To me, one of the best things about the gospel is that Jesus Christ proclaims and restores human and eternal worth for everyone who believes—regardless of what a person might look like or smell like now, no matter what’s crawling through his hair.  And because we follow this Christ, each of us has both the ability and responsibility ('response-ability') to do the same."
---
"The words 'Jesus loves you' take on a whole different meaning when you’re down and out.  You hear them differently.  You need them more.  Just saying them to the next desperate person you meet could change his day.  Wrap those words in friendship, a home-cooked meal, bus fare, and you could change his life."
---
"Walking into a church where we hoped to find genuine fellowship only to be met by condescension or suspicion or disingenuous flattery was the worst kind of rejection."
---
"We don’t go to church, we are the church.  So many problems that show up on the church steps, or in the pews, or between congregations seem to start with misunderstandings about that.  The church isn’t a physical building or doctrinal statement or perfectly produced program.  It is us—we are the living expression of Christ’s presence in this world, His body.  The sooner we realize that, the sooner we’ll be able to be the healing body of Christ to our sin-sick world."
---
"The bottom line is real love shows itself in action."
---

It's a solid book.  I'm going to be discussing it with people for a while once school starts.  Hopefully the conversations are fruitful.  I'm sure they will be.

Peace.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Sex God

I finished a book by Rob Bell called Sex God a couple of weeks ago, it has just taken me a long time to type up all the quotes I got from the book and blog them.  

The book was amazing.  I didn't really feel like it was something spectacular at the time when I was reading it, but when I go back and read the quotes I took away from it... wow.  Rob Bell is an amazing communicator and someone I deeply admire.
...


"You can’t talk about sexuality without talking about how we were made.  And it will inevitably lead you to who made us.  At some point you have to talk about God."
---
"What we often do is reverse the creative process God initiated.  We start with different cultural backgrounds and skin colors and nationalities, and it’s only when we look past these things that we are able to get to what we have in common—that we are fellow image-bearers with the shared task of caring for God’s creation.  We get it all backward.  We see all of the differences, and only later, maybe, do we begin to see the similarities.  The new humanity is about seeing people as God sees them."
---
"How you treat the creation reflects how you feel about the creator."
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"A church exists to be a display of the new humanity.  A community of people who honor and respect the poor and rich and educated and uneducated and Jew and Gentile and black and white and old and young and powerful and helpless and fully human, created in the image of God."
---
"With every decision, conversation, gesture, comment, action, and attitude, we’re inviting heaven or hell to earth."
---
"Our sexuality has two dimensions.  First, our sexuality is our awareness of how profoundly we’re severed and cut off and disconnected.  Second, our sexuality is all of the ways we go about trying to reconnect."
---
"I often meet people who aren’t park of a church and don’t want anything to do with God because 'all those religious hypocrites.'  Often they have great pain that they blame on 'the church.'  But it’s not possible for and institution, whether it’s a church or a school or a business or even the government, to hurt somebody.  Institutions are made up of people.  People hurt people."
---
"You can’t be connected with God until you’re at peace with who you are.  If you’re still upset that God gave you this body or this life or this family or these circumstances, you will never be able to connect with God in a healthy, thriving, sustainable sort of way.  You’ll be at odds with your maker.  And if you can’t come to terms with who you are and the life you’ve been given, you’ll never be able to accept others and how they were made and the lives they’ve been given.  And until you’re at peace with God and those around you, you will continue to struggle with your role on the planet, your part to play in the ongoing creation of the universe.  You will continue to struggle and resist and fail to connect."
---
"When we deny the spiritual dimension to our existence, we end up living like animals.  And when we deny the physical, sexual dimension to our existence, we end up living like angels.  And both ways are destructive, because God made us human."
---
"Paul insists that everything God created is good, and we come to see this through what he calls 'the word of God and prayer,' which is the hard work of study and reflection and meditation and discussion and debate.  The temptation is always to avoid things that are difficult and complex.  To go around them rather than through them."
---
"One of the marks of someone who has experienced significant growth in their soul is their ability to live in the midst of tension."
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"You are not alone.  Whatever you struggle with, whatever you have questions about, you are not alone.  It doesn’t matter how dark it is or how much shame or weakness or regret it involves, you are not alone."
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"If I want something to the point that I can’t conceive of being content without it, then it owns me."
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"Life is not about toning down and repressing your God-given life force.  It’s about channeling it and focusing it and turning it loose on something beautiful, something pure and true and good, and something that connects you with God, with others, with the world."
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"The story the Bible tells is of a living being who loves and who continues to love even when that love is not returned.  A God who refuses to override our freedom, who respects our power to decide whether to reciprocate, a God who lets us make the next move."
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"Love is handing your heart to someone and taking the risk that they will hand it back because they don’t want it.  That’s why it’s such a crushing ache on the inside.  We gave away a part of ourselves and it wasn’t wanted."
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"Jesus always chooses the path of love, not power."
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"If you have ever given yourself to someone and had your heart broken, you know how God feels.  If you have ever given yourself to someone and found yourself waiting for their response, exposed and vulnerable, left hanging in the balance, you know how God feels."
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"Our first need is not for people to fix our problems.  People who charge in and have all the answers and try to make things right without first joining us in our pain generally annoy us, or worse yet, they push us away.  They have nothing to give us.  The God that Jesus points us to is not a god who stands at a distance, wringing his hands and saying, 'If only you’d listened to me.'  This is the God who holds out his hands and asks, 'Would you like to see the holes where the nails went?  Would that help?'"
---
"In matters of love, it’s as if God has agreed to play by the same rules we do.  God can do anything—that’s what makes God, God.  But God can’t do everything.  God can’t make us love him—that’s our choice.  Love is risky for God too."
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"At the heart of the worldview of a Christian is the simple truth that people are worth dying for."
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"Agape doesn’t love somebody because they’re worthy.  Agape makes them worthy by the strength and power of its love.  Agape doesn’t love somebody because they’re beautiful.  Agape loves in such a way that it makes them beautiful."
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"What we do comes out of who we believe we are."
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"Your worth does not come from your body, your mind, your work, what you produce, what you put out, how much money you make.  Your worth does not come from whether or not you have a man.  Your worth does not come from whether or not men notice you.  You have inestimable worth that comes from your creator.  You will continue to be tempted in a thousand different ways not to believe this.  The temptation will be to go searching for your worth and validity from places other than your creator.  Especially from men."
---
"When our trust has been betrayed and those who were supposed to stand by us don’t, this naturally has consequences for how we think about God.  It becomes hard to trust that God is good when our significant relationships aren’t that good."
---
"If you see me for who I really am, the me that no one else has ever seen, the me that I wouldn’t dare to show anybody else on the planet, the parts of me I’m not sure I want anybody to ever see, if I give you that kind of glimpse into the seat of my being, into my soul, will you still love me like you do now?  It’s our question for each other, and it’s our question for God."
---
"It is easy to take off your clothes and have sex.  People do it all the time.  But opening up your soul to someone, letting them into your spirit and thoughts and fears and future and hopes and dreams…that is being naked.  This is why when people sleep together after they’ve just met, they’re raising the chances significantly that the relationship will not survive.  Racing ahead of the progression always costs something.  When there is no common mission, no shared task, no sense of bone of bone and flesh of flesh, no bonds that take years to develop, many end up moving from relationship to relationship, having sex but never really being naked.  Too much too fast rarely endures."
---

Seriously, if you have not read this book, you need to.  Fantastic stuff.

Peace.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Pride = Pressure

I haven't blogged in a little over a week-ish.  Partly because I was at Cornerstone Festival in Illinois most all of last week and didn't have any kind of steady access to a computer.  There are other reasons I don't blog sometimes though.
...

I feel a pressure to blog.  I know that not more than 5 people even read this blog on any kind of consistent basis, but even still, I feel a pressure to process things that are interesting and be able to express my thoughts at least once every week and a half-ish in a blog.  I think it is good for me.
...

I've realized I treat my blogging habits a lot like my poor prayer habits.  When I feel like I've got myself all together and I can stand on my own two feet and my pride isn't incredibly damaged and I feel like I can cover up the disgraceful sinner I am a little bit, I have no problem holding dialogue with God.  

But...

When I know I'm wrong and I've screwed up and I feel the conviction of those situations, prayer is so hard for me.  My pride just makes grace very hard.  I don't want to be loved because that's just what God is: love.  I want to be loved because I'm good and I've earned it and I am worthy of love.  Even though that is never the case, sometimes it is easier to fool yourself about it more than others; at least it is for me.
...

Blogging is the same as prayer for me.  When I'm in a rut, and I know my mind is focusing on stupid things that I want to process out in the open but that wouldn't be the best thing... I just shut down.  

"I can't come to my blog readers with this crap!"  

"I could never blog about this junk!"  

"Hell, even thinking about this is a waste of time, how could blogging about it be worth anything?"
...

So I am sorry, but my pride and the pressure I put on myself cripples me.  Trust me, I know they are poor traits.  I dislike them about myself very much.  Changing some things about who you are just takes more time that others, and sometimes I'm not sure we are even the ones who can change ourselves (at least not alone).

Peace.

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Soul Cravings - Destiny, Meaning, & Seek

The first section of Erwin McManus's book Soul Cravings is titled Intimacy.  The rest of the book is split up into 3 sections titled Destiny, Meaning, and Seek.

Here are some quotes from Destiny, Meaning, and Seek.
...


"You cannot live the life God created you to live without being ambitious.  The reason your heart leaps when you see greatness is that your spirit is drawn to it.  The reason we can experience the vicarious exhilaration of a great victory or an amazing accomplishment is that the human spirit resonates with greatness.  While many of us have come to believe ambition is unhealthy, the truth is when you lose ambition, you lose your future.  When you lose your future, you lose hope.  And no one can live well without hope.  Without ambition we have no dreams worth living.  When we let our dreams die, we start dying with them."
---
"God created us to engage, solve problems, meet needs, do something with our lives.  He made us to get involved and expects us to act.  That’s why someone like Mother Teresa helps us believe in God.  Human compassion reflects God and moves us toward God."
---
"We were created to believe in progress and to pursue it with passion.  It is God who designed us this way.  He made us creative, and he holds us responsible.  Somehow there are many of us who have missed this point.  We have allowed human history to be shaped by those who do not reflect God’s value for love, for beauty, and for justice."
---
"Humans are not content to simply survive, we are driven to thrive.  It’s not enough for us to merely exist; we are compelled to achieve.  This drive would not even exist without a concept of time.  We understand that each day is not a reoccurring cycle of static events.  The human experience is not only that time moves, but that we do too.  We have been created with not only awareness but a need for progress."
---
"Take a few minutes sometime and find your nearest cemetery.  Walk through the memorials there representing the lives of a countless number of people who lived before you.  You will see different dates of birth and times of death, but they will all have one thing in common—the dash between the two.  To everyone who is a stranger, our dash will be just that, a space holder in between the pertinent information.  But for those who know us, the dash represents the totality of our lives."
---
"Is it possible that the reason we find God in our deepest despair is that this is when we are most earnestly listening?"
---
"Atheist, agnostic, existentialist, humanist, Buddhist, Muslim, Hindu, Christian—we all need to believe that somehow our lives matter.  There is a reason for our existence, a reason to live, and if we can’t find it, we’ll just make it up.  And if we lack imagination, then we’ll just medicate ourselves, sedate ourselves, intoxicate ourselves, indulge ourselves, deceive ourselves, or just simply come to the end of ourselves."
---
"To go beyond feeling, to go beyond compassion, you have to believe that it is right to act, that you were created to bring change.  If Jesus was nothing else, he was an activist for change.  To be a follower of Christ is to believe that everyone’s life can be different.  No one is defined by the status of their birth.  Our destiny is not limited to our pedigree.  Every human being is of equal value to God.  No one must remain a prisoner of fate."
---
"Faith is simply the word for trust when used in relation to God."
---
"Over the years, I found that cynicism is a way of escape.  You’ve believed, you’ve trusted, you’ve put yourself out there, and you’ve gotten hurt.  Someone lied to you, or betrayed you, or maybe it was even God.  He just didn’t show when you needed him.  So you retreat to the only place you know to go.  You go hide inside your own soul and decide that you can trust no one but yourself.  In the end, this is at the heart of the path that leads us to trust only in ourselves."
---
"God himself stepped into human history so that we would know that he is not only the source of truth, but that he is utterly and completely trustworthy."
---
"Whatever religion is used to manipulate or control people, I consider it the enemy of humanity and the enemy of God."
---
"Never let anyone tell you that God is offended by your questions.  Your questions will lead you to God.  Your soul craves meaning even as it longs for God.  To search for one is to find the other.  Go ahead—question everything.  We’re all trying to make sense of this life that we’ve been thrown into.  A lot of times the world doesn’t help the process at all.  We experience pain, disappointment, tragedy, betrayal.  It fills us with doubt and bitterness and leaves us confused.  I love that God understands that, that he knows life’s a struggle."
---
"Some people who do not believe in God are consistent and don’t believe in love either.  No primary evidence.  In fact, my nonscientific research has found a direct correlation between losing faith in love and losing faith in God.  But for many people it is at this point where they simply live with the inconsistency.  You can’t see God; you can’t prove God in the laboratory.  Believing in God is a stretch, but they believe in love.  But you can’t see love.  You can’t prove love.  The only evidence available is secondary.  No primary evidence.  Yet when you love someone, you are more certain of that than of almost anything else.  Love reminds us there is a knowing beyond reason."
---
"For love to exist it doesn’t even require reciprocation."
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"No matter how hard your life is, if you can imagine a different one, it somehow seems to pull you through.  You can stomach who you are, no matter how much you hate yourself, if you can somehow believe that one day you’ll become someone different."
---
"I guess it will never be easy, but Jesus made it possible.  You don’t have to be afraid to commit your life to someone who gives his life for you."
---

This book is a great read for a person who is new to Christianity or doesn't really know what they believe.  

Even though that is who I think McManus wrote the book for, I still enjoyed it very much.  Seriously, check it out.

Peace.